There are many times in life where you hear people talk about the crossroads in life. Which road do you take? One challenge for me as always been commitment without distraction. I get that shiny object syndrome. I need less crossroads and an interstate. Finally getting to that point after 20 years……
As an insurance agent I get the privilege of hanging out in schools every year to help employees take care of annuities and life insurance. Watching the school environment sometimes makes me want to be at the school. I know there is a lot of stress but you get to talk to little kids and hear their funny stories. For now I will enjoy my view from the outside because I don’t think I could teach. It’s a harder job than most realize!
Time has a tendency to move whether we take an active role or not. That has apparently happened to these posts. It’s easy to use excuses to explain why nothing has been posted but in the end I needed some time to grow.
Growing takes on so many forms. After getting home from Iraq on Christmas Eve in 2008 a lot has happened. Future posts will reflect my struggles and accomplishments. I don’t feel that I have ‘arrived’ by any means, but have corrected some negative attitudes and created some lasting relationships. I hope you all have a great day and I’ll catch up tomorrow.
There is so much technology in our house that I feel like we should have a robot like on the Jetsons. Is the computer what they would call a “necessary evil,” or is it just mis-understood? The internet has done some amazing things for communication with relatives and friends I would never have a chance to keep up with in other means of communication. It has also made my commuting much easier because of all the books and podcasts I can listen to. No more radio with top 20 playing. This does bring up an issue though. If you are trying to reach people to let them know something the radio is no longer valid for the bulk of the population. How do you notify people of storm dangers, tornadoes, and other events that could save their life? I guess if they’re not paying attention there’s nothing you can do for them. This is just random thoughts being typed for this post. The whole week has been random thoughts. Thought I would write a couple down. Have a good week!
Some would say that I’ve been off the blog for so long that I took a sebatical when in all reality I started to understand how overwhelming it can be to start a new venture when you are still going all out on everything else. It was a fun year in 2013 and I know that this year will be even more eventful! Thank you for following my blog. I promise to get back into the routine of keeping you up to date.
I’m starting to understand how people get deceived online. I knew it before but hear me out… I’m referring to people looking for business opportunities. There are litterally thousands of ideas and companies vying for your money. How do you tell the difference between good and bad companies and business models? This will take some time to explain so I will do my best to post at least 1 topic a day and will disect it for you. It’s time to put my knowledge of this topic to use. Good night!
From the outside, looking down at my life at 5:30 a.m. after waking up early, this was written.
There was a feeling I had as a kid on occasion where you would be looking out the window at others enjoying recess at school, or playing in the yard, and feeling sad because I was not able to participate. That feeling came back and for the first time I was able to identify the reason.
Growing up in a world surrounded by certain types of people who all had amazing stories and in a way were heroes to me fulfilled a certain part of my emotional being. A lot of people would tell me that it’s stupid to have feelings like this but they don’t know because it’s not their world. As I entered adulthood those emotions drove me to want to be like these people. I keep saying “these people” and mentioning “heroes” but at this point you are thinking these are riddles.
These people are everyday heroes to many kids that I was proud to call Dad, friend, guardian and other names I can’t even think of. I was a cops kid, a son of a military parent, a brother who had to watch out for sisters because dad was working or deployed, and a role model to others that would let them down because I didn’t understand the importance of my role in life and what God wanted of me.
For the first time, thanks to a deputy on the side of the road helping me with an accident report, I was able to piece it together. I wanted to be accepted by him but didn’t know why. He spoke to me as I have spoken to others throughout life on occasion. As if I was a stranger and whatever I said would be dismissed as someone trying to get out of something like a ticket, or being arrested, neither of which happened I have to add.
When Dad was killed by a man who didn’t think about his actions beyond his own selfishness of wanting to die by a method many have come to know as ‘death by cop’, my world was changed forever. From March 20th, 1996 until November 13th, 2013 these emotions affected my life in a manner that was unexplainable. Now I know that there was a reason behind my transient nature as a young adult. Not holding jobs for very long, wanting to travel to experience as much as possible, and most of all seeking approval from those around me. I was trying to reach that level that was held so high and out of reach as a child.
Past jobs included being a Medic in the Army, Corpsman in the Navy with the Marine Corps, Iraq war veteran, Deputy Sheriff, Financial Loan Specialist, Construction worker, Entrepreneur, Insurance Agent and others that I can’t think of right now. Always chasing something that was one step ahead of me. Working to find happiness when in retrospect I have things that others envy or look up to. This may seem arrogant but I’m just going off what others have told me and I thank them for hitting me over the head with this truth.
I accepted Christ as my personal savior in September of 1997 in Minneapolis, MN and have a beautiful wife and 4 wonderful children that others are constantly telling me are ‘wonderful and well behaved kids’. I am so proud of all of them for different reasons and would not change my life for anything. Going forward I am accepting responsibility for life and will do my best to make it a Godly life that they will hopefully want to follow.
Unfortunately I am not perfect and will continue to disappoint people because after all, I am human and a sinner at heart just like everyone else. With that being out there let’s go. Bring it on world! I’ve been blessed by God and am ready for whatever life has for me!
If you don’t agree with me that’s fine because this is my story not yours, but I hope that you are bold enough to share yours with others. So many people, including myself, have thought about suicide at some point and I hope that we can prevent people from going through with it. The reasons people do it are unknown in many cases but I believe that self worth is a key. One thing that we can grasp on to and get through these moments with is the fact that God loves you and there are many people in your life that love you, even if you don’t see it. Lack of communication is the # 1 reason for divorce and I believe also a huge factor in people taking their own life. If you love someone please tell them before it’s too late.
That’s all I got. You’re welcome to comment but only if it’s uplifting to others. Be yourself and others will respect you for it. If you are fake they will see through it and not want to be around you. If they don’t respect you, maybe it’s time to make a change in the people you hang out with.
With Veterans Day behind me I can relax a little now. It is humbling to run an event celebrating veterans and in the audience are true war heroes. One of our local war heroes is still putting on his uniform from WWII. He is an amazing man who won the silver star for taking out machine gun nests in France and received a purple heart for getting shot by a German zip gun! I dare you to go up to him and tell him how bad your day was. With all that being said, it is kind of a solemn day where we reflect on those that couldn’t be here with us, even though we are told it is supposed to be a celebration. For those that have served I want to say Thank You and good luck on your journey in life.
There are certain times in life when you feel excited like when you were a kid and got an award. Why is it so hard to have those feelings as an adult? I don’t think it’s that difficult if you are doing something enjoyable and honoring to God. That’s my 2 cents for the night.
“What is your why?” This question is stuck in my mind. When I go to the emergency room with my daughter at 2:00 am I know my why. Now that the mystery is solved I need to get the question answered to “What is my how?”
So many people have great ideas but don’t know how to translate that into activity. This has been a struggle in my own progression to maturity. Just my 2 cents at 3:30 am.
Self-Seller @ Heart 